The summer was warm and full of life. 10,000 years ago, the long days and warm weather pushed my ancestors to range far from their homes. Their instincts linger in me still so I took your soft hand in mine and we went adventuring. From the fertile river valleys of Northern California to the stoney coast of New England, we wandered and wondered.

But now the season is changing. The air is cooling and the days are getting shorter. And in the modern American tradition of corporate season change, Starbucks has dropped the Pumpkin Spice Latte on us once again.

It's been a week now, babe, and I think we're all tired of hearing about it. But before we get some fresh, new shennanigans from inappropriately young looking idols (BBC reported that Bieber pissed in a bucket... I heard on NPR that Amanda Bynes set her dog on fire) I've got 5 things that I want to say about the Miley Cyrus VMA performance. Then we can just drop it.